Saturday, January 21, 2012

Struggling with my own humanity every day

In Ubud (as well as each place visited in India) I am accosted by beggers. (orang minta-minta.... translated as person who WANTS).
Usually, it is a  woman with a baby at her breast and several other toddlers/young ones aside her or in front of her with their hand out,motioning toward their mouth. Or an elderly person.
 
This Breaks My Heart.
Last year, I gave away hundreds of dollars, usually less that $1  to each orang minta- minta everyday.   I also gave away fruit and nuts and bread.
I was often accosted by the same person more that once a day........ I would indignantly tell them .... "I already gave to you today"   (the subtext being; i recognize you as a person.....can't you do the same?)
I walk a lot each day.   I see the same beggars day in/day out.
I  feel miserably if I give them money.  I feel miserably if I don't.  I feel less miserable giving food.

This is My Huge Struggle.

I have done an exorbitant amount of research about this.  I have anecdotal  answers from Balinese and ex-pats.  I have read articles, stories, non-profit mission  statements and tried to delve intelligently into this issue so that  I may actually critically think myself out of this situation of Struggle. For an solution that I can adhere to; for a credo that fits me.... it's all been elusive ........ and each day's rendering has been impermanent and unsatisfying.

contradictory/real  info that creates confusion:
1. these people just don't want to work
2. if the girl gets pregnant, and the male doesn't want to marry her, she has no "family compound" to go to, be protected and taken care of; the bottom line  of the structure that is Balinese culture
3.they can go to any compound and ask for domestic work
4. they have a "pimp"- the babies are "rented", drugged etc
5. they come from out of town by bus... the very very poor from NE Bali where there is No Water and very dry, limited employment, limited resources and come into Ubud and the southern tourist places to beg
6. There are non-profit agencies set up to help these people with economic development projects procuring sustainable jobs with dignity; therefore they Choose to Beg. (I should give 
money to these agencies discouraging the individual beggar.)
7. Or volunteer with these said agencies.

Now you understand a little where the ambiguity and confusion has settled inside of me.  
I would appreciate any insight or direction that each one of you might offer.

It is a big struggle.  Currently i have not been contributing to the open hands each day...... i fear that once i give 1 rupiah.....the floodgates will open again.



2 comments:

  1. Very interesting....yes, this is not easy. I've been going to India for the past 15 years and I have been also going through the same struggle: to give or not to give? Friends visiting me in India for the 1st time would also ask me: what shall I do? This is so overwhelming! How can I give? How could I NOT give?... After all these years of struggle with myself, I decided something:
    1- there is no easy answer to this question, and it's OK to be a little lost and to have doubts.
    2- You don't know? Then go by intuition. What else do you have anyway.
    3- unless this is someone I know, I never give a lot, so that it gives me the chance to give again soon.
    4- in some travels, I gave myself a rule: give once a day, to the person you "feel" the most. Easy, but not easy. Sometime I keep that rule, sometimes I don't.
    5- for kids, I usually give food. At least I know the help is heading to right place: the stomach :)
    6- remember...there is no easy answer. It's OK to doubt. Because whatever you do, in the end, it's not gonna change much...their condition was there because you got there, and there's a chance that it'll remain the same after you're gone...I know, this sounds a little defeatist, but at the same time...what can you do???
    So...I didn't really help, did I...but...I guess I just wanted to share that I am going through the same struggle, even after all this time.
    Good luck, and you know, with your luminous smile and your amazing generosity, already you're helping the world so much.
    With love,
    Raphaëlle

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    Replies
    1. typo: their condition was there BEFORE you got there of course, not because you got there...

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