Upacara Biyukala (Groom steals wife to be)

Ina preparing special chicken..... he did a lot of massaging  .....to those dead chickens

In America it can take many months to plan + prepare for a wedding, (mine took 11).  It can be a time of stress and too much decision making.  Here in Bali I am going to tell you it took a record 4 days and it was far more detailed than anything I've experienced in America.  
Suka /Duka-  coming together for happy + joyful occasions to help.

Kadek and Wayan  have known each other since junior high school.  He was a constant presence at Ina Inn since I moved there and a couple of years ago "he moved into Kadek's room". All quite normal.  She became pregnant, and planned to be married.... but in the past several months there have been tragedies (ie: Wayan's uncle dying the night I arrived) and the wedding was postponed until a fortuitous date in the calendar emerged.   That  date was September 6.  
One week before...... the groom "captures/steals" his bride to be and brings her to his family compound.  (it can be "kidnapping" if the parents do not agree).   But, this was all very agreed upon.  So, ...let the theatre Begin!

These photos are of Kadek having special prayers for her new life with Wayan.  She is alone with her mother, Nyoman
performing these along with the Manggu (priest) and his helpers.  Only the bride's family is at the bride's family compound. (Ina Inn)

family and friends helping for the welcoming hors d'oeuvres

some family waiting

getting the buffet ready (for over 300 people)

some of yummy snacks served with sweet tea or coffee/ sweet rice in banana leaves, little cakes steamed

Phiphi and Jevika (newest Grandchild) playing

young cousin serving

Annie's lap of sweet banana cake...... all wrapped in palm or banana leaf

making my personal favorite; gorgeous fresh bean sprouts + veggies....family members helping out

Kadek's first outfit for the ongoing theatrical event

holy water (tirrta)

more blessings

fertility

Finally after several hours, the parade of Wayan's family arrives.  So very exciting.
I always tease Kadek that she fell in love with Wayan as soon as he smiled!

Ayu and a cousin

Now, comes the most unusual part........  the men below are members of both families and their village leaders as well as family manggu.  
Wayan must go to Kadek's room and literally take her .
IT'S VERY EMOTIONAL!
Ibu begins to cry, i begin to cry..... the bonds are so close between mother and daughter..... (yet she will be living less than 5 minutes away on another street in Ubud)
It's all very symbolic.

Kadek and Ibu hug and cry

the formal part

the crying part

Now, the families discuss in public all the things legal and pragmatic that we in the west would do privately and with lawyers!!!!!!!  The whole process is aired like laundry.
Then Out Comes The Very Special Cake That I had Gotten at a French Bakery in Town.  (wait for the what happens to that cake)

Kadek Cinta Wayan (loves)

feeding Wayan some cake

No, that is not arak I am drinking.... it's water.... the arak comes next week

Ibu and I commiserating

Let's EAT!  (eeeks all that bad white rice..... i stay away from it)

Annie's plate with sate,and all kinds of chicken + sambals + veggie dishes, Annie remembers that the chicken that had been massaged was BAGUS the best, followed by the veggies that also had chicken balls in it (like dumplings) and everything has toasted coconut on top  YUM
Annie is my Wonderful Intern for Yayasan Konservasi Sawah Bali

So, the saga of the chocolate cake goes like this-
After eating, and partaking in this very long ceremony (4-5 hours).... I am taking a break in my room....... when I hear all kinds of laughter...coming from children and adults.  Well, anything that has to do with kids..... I want to witness.... so I go back out to the bale (the raised platform with a roof but no walls) and there I see an adorable 2 year old boy... trying his hardest to blow out the candle (that had been re-lit) in the cake.  Well, he was stamping, and spraying saliva, and just trying with ALL his Might to extinguish the flame.  All the adults were hysterical.... because he was doing this funny dance also...... so this very MAHAL (expensive,beyond any Balinese's means)(+mine too) cake was practically trounced upon, spat upon (with one little square taken from it for the bride + groom)...... well what could I do.... but just laugh as well.... because laughter Trumps all in Bali.  It's why I am here.
 Yes, the little boy finally extinguished the flame..... and I (hopefully) learned an important lesson!


travelin' woman